A new client, "Dan", is in pretty rough shape. His challenges involve complications from Lyme disease and treatments over 18 years (many feelings and beliefs about Lyme and these treatments), verbally abusive (deceased) father, an 'it's all in your head' approach from the medical establishment, a frustrating relationship with mom and devastating digestive issues. He also appears to be in the grip of side effects from his medications and a terrible 'numbness' to feeling any kind of joy at all. Given all of this, he wants to get better. Dan came to us through our non-profit EFT Foundation (at http://personalpeacefoundation.org). We aim to deliver!
Up until today, Dan has had two EFT sessions. The first session (w/ EFT Master Sophia Cayer) was brief. He could only get through about 1/2 hour before becoming too physically exhausted. Sophia shared her notes and feelings with me (with his permission). In our first session together (about 3 weeks later), Dan was able to get through a full 90 minutes. In fact, he wanted to continue! We did a great deal of tapping around specific beliefs, but mostly I was listening and developing a rapport with him, learning how he 'felt' things. During this session, it was very important to him that he impart his full history to me and that I have a complete understanding of Lyme's Disease and its effects. He made it clear he was tapping for himself, and that he wanted to be in this for the long haul. He also indicated that he was at a breaking point of hopelessness and despair. I reiterated that we would be there for him every step we could, making myself available (for the time being) for one session per week, while he taps for himself the rest of the time.
Today, his primary focus was on his frustrating relationship/ anger issues with his mom, with whom he lives. We tapped through these issues, working with his specific feel ings. My hope was that he would see the techniques working, as feelings about mom reduced in intensity. For homework, I'm encouraging him t o make the connections between the emotional stuff and the physical symptoms, tapping on "the anger in my bowels", etc. I thought it was worth a try. I also asked him today if his mom would be open to doing EFT for some of her issues - if only for a few sessions. I always like include mom (and/or dad!) whenever there are family dynamics involved. Even though this man is in his mid thirties, he still lives at home in the middle of a complex family environment.
While progress seems slow (and almost unnoticeable to him, given the enormity of his symptoms), we continue to work in small "bites". I reminded him of the slight progress he is demonstrating, and encouraged his progress, the "possibility of light at the end of the tunnel." During the course of these past two sessions, His lack of observable progress demonstrated an enormous amount of resistance / psychological reversal to me. Perhaps it's a 'safety' issue (which we addressed, but it's clear that path was too global). In my opinion, there is incredible resistance to his body operating within normal parameters (properly digesting food, proper elimination etc). I'm confident that in time, with gentle diligence and persistence, the right doorways will present themselves (are presenting themselves!). I hope he sticks with it...
Peace,
Jade Barbee
<<breakthrough>>
In our third session yesterday, we worked on feelings of frustration, fear and powerlessness that "Dan" was experiencing in relation to his challenges. I asked him how long he had felt these feelings. How far back did they go? What did they remind him of? His answers were quite surprising. Where he had previously been reluctant to feel these connections, today he was more open and seemed to easily recall some specific events. He was not comfortable focusing on just one (indeed he seemed unable to do so to any degree), instead we stayed with the fear feelings as flashback after flashback came to mind...
As we tapped, an explosion of these event "flashbacks" came through in rapid succession. Where I may have encouraged being more specific with someone else, I intuitively felt that we must "go with his flow" here and stick with his very specific feeling of fear. Since he did not seem drawn to just one event just yet (and his intensity was so present and so high), we tapped on all the fears of being himself and the feelings of 'not good enough'.
Round after round we tapped globally (and yet, specifically!) on all his old feelings of fear, using his words to tie it together as best we could:
Even though I feel so hopeless and afraid, I can't learn what I need to learn...
Even though I feel so afraid of my father...
Even though I feel so afraid to speak up, I'm not good enough, everyone is better than me...
Soon, I could hear a shift in his voice. When we found a stopping place, he indicated that instead of fear, he felt a great deal of sadness for himself at that time. I added some reframes to the tapping, like "compassion for myself then".. At this point, many aspects began to surface around present guilts and feelings about his current family situation.
We left it there for today. His homework is no longer to focus on connecting feelings with the physical symptoms (since he hadn't had much luck there on his own) but instead to identify present feelings of guilt and/or sadness that may come up for him this week and to apply EFT to those feelings. I reiterated to him that while I shared his concern to address the physical issues, it is my hope that by working with the emotional pieces, his body will find the freedom and energy to heal itself.
I have no doubt that we will visit specific events and "focus in" more deeply on his flashbacks. A clear indication to me of his progress today was not only his shift from "hopeless, powerless, fearful" into the "sadness and compassion" piece. There was also a new lightness in his voice. He actually asked me something about me, which was a new development - and a great sign that he felt less mired in his troubles. I am so grateful that he continues to show up and do the work...
peace,
Jade Barbee
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